I have people I love. I have people that I've connected with over time, people that I consider "friend." But I have very few people that I am really close to.
I have so many people that I care about, and hopefully as many that care about me. But lately I've been longing for people who are more than friends. I think I'm starting to realize who I want those people to be.
I have my boyfriend, a wonderful guy who is more supportive to me in my endeavors to teach than I could ever have hoped for. I have, as I said, a few friends who I interact with in social situations and depend on in times of need.
But I want to be friends with teachers.
The people in my Hub are amazing. I don't really know any of them that well [yet], but they're there for me when I need them, every one of them, and I try to be there for them.
I really want to be close to them. It's a personal desire, but when I think about why I want to be close to them, I realize that those people are going to be my greatest resource when I actually do start teaching.
I know I'm going to be working in a school with a teaching team that will be a good resource. But I want to have these people in my hub, especially a few that I particularly long for their friendship, to be in my life through our actual careers in teaching.
I also think about my mentor in high school, Mr. Rupprecht, the guy who made me want to teach social studies and encouraged my decision to go to PLU (though I'm not sure he knows he encouraged it...) I haven't e-mailed him in a while, and I really hope that I don't lose track of all the help he gave me, even if he doesn't realize how much he helped me.
I want to be that teacher to someone, and I'd like to keep in contact with the guy who made me want to be that way.
I'm stuck on the fact that my peers and my mentor are going to be the greatest friends I'll ever have, even if I don't see them every day. Even if I'm not that close to them.
I want to be close to them.
Monday, June 15, 2009
Friday, June 12, 2009
The Influence I Have...
It's interesting to see who remembers you after only a few weeks and who doesn't.
Last night, I attended the "graduation" ceremony of my eighth graders who are high-school bound. When I saw the kids from my class, most of them said hello, good to see you again. A few were excited to see me. Some that I thought didn't like me approached me with a "Hey, Ms. Hall!" before I even saw them. But the thing that will stick with me the most is the ones who didn't remember.
One of my favorite students, the one that I wrote about a few entries ago in the student profile, the one who barely "graduated" and I was so proud of for his poems, didn't recognize me. "Congratulations," I said to him. "Who are you again?" He said to me.
Once I said my name, he remembered. And I know it's nothing personal. I was only there three days a week, and many of those days, he wasn't in class. But I have to admit that a little bit of my heart broke when he asked me that.
I always wonder how teachers remember all their students, even years later. I wonder why certain students have influence on a teachers life. I remember all of my teachers. I remember all the student teachers that were in my classrooms. They had an influence on me in some way, shape or form.
It made me realize that if I'm going to have an influence in these students lives, I've got to be totally focused on them.
Who cares if they remember me? What matters is that they take something with them. If they are better people or more comfortable with themselves or more knowledgeable of something, I've done my job. I don't need to be remembered. I need to be influential.
Last night, I attended the "graduation" ceremony of my eighth graders who are high-school bound. When I saw the kids from my class, most of them said hello, good to see you again. A few were excited to see me. Some that I thought didn't like me approached me with a "Hey, Ms. Hall!" before I even saw them. But the thing that will stick with me the most is the ones who didn't remember.
One of my favorite students, the one that I wrote about a few entries ago in the student profile, the one who barely "graduated" and I was so proud of for his poems, didn't recognize me. "Congratulations," I said to him. "Who are you again?" He said to me.
Once I said my name, he remembered. And I know it's nothing personal. I was only there three days a week, and many of those days, he wasn't in class. But I have to admit that a little bit of my heart broke when he asked me that.
I always wonder how teachers remember all their students, even years later. I wonder why certain students have influence on a teachers life. I remember all of my teachers. I remember all the student teachers that were in my classrooms. They had an influence on me in some way, shape or form.
It made me realize that if I'm going to have an influence in these students lives, I've got to be totally focused on them.
Who cares if they remember me? What matters is that they take something with them. If they are better people or more comfortable with themselves or more knowledgeable of something, I've done my job. I don't need to be remembered. I need to be influential.
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